Soooooo.............

Since there were loads of things that I could have written about during the big gap between this and my previous entry, I blame my lazy butt on not doing so. Nevertheless, a great journalist must report everything he sees and experiences! Now, I shall summarize my newly found memories or die trying, well, not die, but you know.



First up, my house got raided, not once but twice. Not that I don't mind or so, bah, who am I kidding, I don't mind it at all. It's just the clean up after they leave that sometimes get me, and the sudden change in the atmosphere of the home, from your usual calmness to a whole mix of emotions flying everywhere.



But that's just a small price to pay, since you have friends and relatives enjoying your games and rocking it out in Guitar Hero: World Tour on the Xbox 360. I just wished I had another spare guitar controller for a bassist though, that would be awesome.



Moving on, I went to a Hari Raya walk with my Yuhua Primary School friends whom some I haven't seen for probably 4-5 years. I was pretty nervous at first since the lengthy gap of not seeing each other will leave us awkward and silenced for the rest of the trip, and honestly, would you go on a outing with mannequins and strangers?



Well, thankfully, we broke the ice quickly enough, and soon enough, jokes began emerging as if we were only apart for 2 or 3 days. It was a cool outing, and pretty successful if you asked me.

Phew, lastly, I had a big fight against.. who? I'll let you guess, Chuck Norris? Dwayne Johnson? Arnold Schwarzenegger? No, no, a cockroach.



You probably called me a sissy, pussy, coward, retard, chicken, and god knows whatever comes out from your clever imaginative minds. Before you reload your insult-gun however, let me tell you that I have a nasty fear of cockroaches. Ever since an incident involving a suicide-like cockroach flying into my face like September 11, a sight of a cockroach never fails to send my spine to a shiver.



Well, it was like 3a.m in the morning when I decided for a midnight snack. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a cup of water before beginning to rummage for food. A small black object immediately flew past at the corner of my eye. Intrigued, I followed and saw a fully grown adult cockroach staring back at me from the sink.



Immediately I dashed back and swore very, VERY loudly.



While the little bugger was having fun playing Indiana Jones and the Lost Kitchen, I was wondering how to kill it. Electric Swatter? Plate? Tissue Papers? Baygon? At last, I settled with the old school way which man have countered cockroaches for ages. The trusty newspaper.



I took an old newspaper sheet (Obviously, unless you want a flattened cockroach on your morning paper.) and rolled it like as if it was my lifeline. Thankfully the little bugger decided to climb down and made itself an easy target on the floor. The match was set, I raised my paper and BAM!

Now, the thing about these annoying bugs that when you try to squish them, they run to YOU instead of running away. And that is what exactly this guy tried to do, resulting in me doing the moonwalk jump to avoid him. A second, accurate whack finished him off, sending him flying to the carpet.



They also have a nasty habit to shuffle their legs, feelers, wings or whatever they can in their death throes, and that killed my appetite. I scooped the bugger up and gave him the burial he deserved, in the rubbish bin.

I can never understand how people in Fear Factor or I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! can withstand bugs crawling all over them, especially freaking cockroaches. Maybe it's because of the money.



Whatever the case, that's pretty much of the news I have. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to not think of that cockroach incident lest my goosebumps explode. Lolololololololololol.

Now for a short break...

Picture this. You and your mum happily preparing your house for the next Hari Raya visit. As you begin wiping the dining table, the doorbell rings. Your mum, who is currently minding the kitchen, asks you to answer it. You begin to head to the door and opening it, start to wonder which of your relatives are outside the door this time.


A large mob of malay dudes stand outside your door, greeting you as if they know you. They begin yelling and howling at each other, wishing Hari Raya, and claiming to know your father, brother or your sister. Despite doubts, you open your door and they begin rushing in and crowding the house, creating a fine din in the living room and messing your house up after your painstaking cleaning work.



After 10 minutes of akwardness and enduring their yells and shouts, they begin to leave, but before that, asked for green packets, which was only reserved for friends and family members. To decline was to be a total scrooge, thus, you have no choice but to hand over. Not only that, your house is left in ruins, with drinks half-finished, sinks piled to the top and the other horror stories.



Exaggerating, am I? Well, once you get your turn, you'll see.

Got you worried now right? You're probably asking what to do now? Well, I do have the products for you!

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Kim's Products To Counter The Unexpected Visits!



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The Balloon Chinese Boy!


Ever look at the peephole and wonder how to ignore the rapid doorbells being pressed by the Malay dudes outside? Fret no more! Simply inflate this balloon and place it outside this door, they wont even know the difference! With realistic plastic coating and detailed expressions, it is a sure way to fool your intruders in thinking that they are at the wrong house. Enjoy hearing the intruders asking retarded questions such as "Aku ingat ini rumah orang melayu! (I thought this was a malay house!)" or "Bodoh la, Ahmad, rumah melayu pun tak tahu (Stupid Ahmad, Malay house also dont know!)" as you close the door, sniggering.



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The Un-Happy Kuihs!


Sick of them finishing your hard worked kuihs when they're meant for your relatives? Well, with our perfect kuihs, not only is it simply ready to be served at a second's notice, but also, leave long lasting impressions to those pesky intruders, especially where it hurts most, the stomach! This kuihs will leave them incapicated in the toilet, unable to pester anyone for the rest of the day! Just make sure they leave immediately after eating the kuihs though, or your toilet will be the one that's going to have a bombardment!

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The Mini-Exploding Packets!



Why let all your hard-earned cash go to a couple of free loaders? With these fake packets, not only would you keep your well-deserved salary, but punish those random visitors as these aren't your everday paper packets, but packets filled with mini exploding devices, guranteed not to hurt (you don't want to go to court, do you?) but leave a shock for them, as the packets explode in a mini-puff of red smoke and a loud shrill bang. To increase the effectiveness, leave a scary picture in the packet to make sure they have a Hari Raya they won't forget!

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So, wait no longer! Your sufferings are at a end! Simply place your order at 1800-PREVENTMATS or order online at www.nopacketsforyou.com! Order now, and recieve our Hari Raya season discount, which is 25% off! With our products, we gurantee to keep them at bay, or leave their baju kurung and songkoks in tatters.


I claim no responsibility for any injuries or deaths occuring during usage of products or consequences, because I'm a fag, lololololololol.

My Blog has a Dead Ringer, It's not Dead. Just behind you.

Well, it's been a long time since I updated my blog. It's maybe because of my attention being diverted to other tasks or games or stuff. But that doesn't mean it's dead, it's just taking a vacation.


Now first up, the main reason why I decided to revive my blog is basically the reason to rage about. As I'm writing now, my polytechnic friends are probably having awesome fun at the chalet. I would have been there too, but I screwed up big time. Firstly, I forgot I had to pick up my brother from school (goddamn afternoon sessions) which was about 6.30p.m. Also, the trip was like running to Kuala Lumpur for me, it was halfway across Singapore from my home to the chalet.


Even if I manage to fight the boredom of a 1 to 2 hour trip to the chalet, I would probably have to go after a short stay, blame Hari Raya for that. It's sad, really, a class chalet and I missed it. It makes me feel like some social outcast or exile. Well, I guess there'll be another time, besides, I bet I'm not the only one who didn't go, that'll set my mind at ease for now.


I've recently started jogging with my cousin, Aslam. I ran about 5 rounds around the park and my head literally spinned round and round. I had to sit down and take deep breaths to avoid puking my dinner. I guess this is what happens when you sit in front of the screen too much, or went jogging 30 minutes after your dinner, lawl.


I've gotten that Halo 3: ODST game recently, and I went to a hell lot of trouble just to get the game itself. I pre-ordered it 2 days earlier to make sure that I get a copy before the Singapore Gamers, like locusts, swamp the stock before I could even look at the cover page.



About Singapore gamers, they're really like locusts, they're never online when you're playing a popular game but always there when there's an event or launch party for a certain game. I mean come on, do you buy the game just because everyone says it's good and then throw it aside after 3 days of gameplay because your friends and mates say it blows? Damn it, then stop forcing me to queue 2 hours in the hot blazing Sun for your ignorant asses.

But, I'm stereotyping, not all Singapore gamers are bad, there are good ones out there. In fact, I find most Singapore servers or players to be more kind and relaxed over their games compared to the other countries, where they dont go bitching on how someone being such a total retard in games or get worked up over a defeat. It's just how they get too easily influenced by their friends.

/endrant

So, when I arrived at the store, I asked the shopkeeper if my copy was there. He gave a me a face as if I slapped his grandmother twice and wanted me to show a reciept.

I was shocked, didn't I pre-ordered it earlier? I tried to confirm again with my father, who placed the order, and we soon clarified the problem. I had to wait for 30 minutes before I could take my game. When I came back, the guy asked me to pay up for the game.

Holy shit, didn't pre-order mean paying before you redeem? I was caught in the most stupidest scenario, with only 12 dollars to my name then, and the game itself costing 57 dollars. I had to go home empty handed and wait for my father to collect it, which was about 10p.m. , where countless spoilers have already emerged from the web, sadface.



Well, that's pretty what I needed to get off my chest now. I'm currently thinking about what my friends are doing in the chalet right now, probably Joseph getting drunk and Shawn laughing and some random Mat barbeque. At least I wont get beaten up, lololololololololol.

This close to becoming a "Jarhead".

So, to start of with another entry, I went to the CMPB, or simply put, the National Service registration place where all eligible Singaporean men must report in order to be enlisted into the army. Because of some stupid mistakes I made and my forgetfulness, I was forced to report in because they thought I was not schooling and wanted me to do a 5 hour medical check up which involved god-knows-what behind that door.


Naturally, I resisted, taking out my handguns and blasting the hell out of the guards, doing dodges and jumps and taking down scores of hapless National Guard dudes trying to stop me. Thus, I was exempted from the National Service because of my skills.


OK, so I'm lying. But it was close to that. I just handed a letter and explained that I was still schooling in the cool, deep voice which secret agents do, that has to count for something right?



Traveling there by car was a bitch, motion sickness picked the right time to hit me and I was struggling to prevent myself from vomiting all over the nice little clerk lady. Thankfully, I kept it in, but still had an annoying headache for the rest of the day.

Motion sickness can be a bitch, I had it since I was young, probably around Primary 2 or so. It keeps coming on and off, like an unfaithful wife. It starts with a slight dizziness and rages on as a full-fledged nausea. I thought I was done with it after Secondary 3, as I never gotten it, until now. I'm tempted to drill a hole in my head, pull out the cause of it and smash it to little pieces, which would probably kill me.



Meanwhile, at the base, I saw plenty of Malay mats and dudes with their parents, most likely to be enlisted to the National Service. They'll probably outnumber the Chinese in this National Service term. Imagine the whole Singapore Army "lepak"ing somewhere when Singapore is being invaded by Malaysia or some other unhappy neighbours, taking a smoke under the void deck.


As me and my cousin, Aslam, who accompanied me during this early morning adventure, we stopped by IMM to do a bit of shopping for ingridients for the delicacies on the upcoming Hari Raya. As we walked past Mac's, we saw a group of 5 Malay peeps with floating caps and all, carrying half finished drinks, this kind of makes me feel better since I've been swearing for almost every single day during the fasting month and feeling bad for myself.

Even more, 2 of them went to the ice-cream vendor and bought sundaes. I couldn't resist breaking a smile into that. Luckily they didn't spot me, or else I'll probably end up being stabbed with plastic knives, since it was breakfast in Mac's. Lololololololololololol.

On a side note: I smuggled a McGriddles home, I couldn't stand missing another chance for McDonald's Breakfast.

Exams R Over!!!... so now what?

Yes, the day of studying Media Marketing or reading anymore lecture notes is finally over. This is the day where I'm supposed to go to the rooftops and scream Freedom! on the top of my lungs. Basically, I should be happy, right?















Wrong.

I screwed up my Marketing exam, thanks to a combination of irregular eating habits during the fasting period, and an unhappy revolt in my stomach digestion, resulting in me ending up 20 minutes late for the paper because of frequent toilet visits. At first, I did the paper with ease, awnsering the first few questions confidently, when I started on my third question, I looked up to the clock.

30 minutes left.

I basically panicked, and forgot everything I studied, and thus, you know what happened next. Me bitching and swearing even though it was the fasting period while my friends going "Can pass! Can pass one!".

To be honest with you guys, I'm pretty confident that I am able to pass overall, making me not repeat Marketing for the next semester. But human nature sometimes want us to bitch about things to your friends and family, perhaps making you feel better in comfort and ease.













Ok, I'm emo'ing, moving on...

So, the holidays. What can I do.. I can work, yea work, get my lazy ass out to work. Or become a stay-at-home gamer, gaming my life out or slap some random guy because he's eating McSpicy burgers when I'm fasting. Endless possibilites, so little time. Decisions.. Decisions.

I'm tempted to restart my playtime in World of Warcraft, but the problem is, I'm sooo damn bored with the content and gameplay. What made the game fun previously was that I had friends to play with, to bitch with and to go questing with. I dont know how those 24 hour gamers do it, levelling till there's no tommorow, without dying of boredom on their seats. Only time will tell...

Oh yes, and my NS medical check up is on next 2 weeks. It's basically because I didnt awnser the online application which was given in a time period of 2-3 months, thanks to projects and matters, and now I'm getting screwed. And the bitch part is, I realized the period 3 days after the time period was over. Screw the goddamn Army, I'm going to get "tekan" during that 4-5 hour check-up.

But let's be optimistic. Who knows, maybe the medical doctor might be some Army babe that plays World of Warcraft every now and then. Check away, doctor! Lololololololololololol

So blow me, no wait.

Well, since fasting month is almost upon us Muslims, I am somehow depressed. No, not because of the food, but I won't be getting my allowance since I won't be eating and stuff. Unlike most of you, I only get allowance for my lunch money. Not weekly spending or stuff. But at least I don't have to face the canteens in Nanyang Polytechnic during this period or that would be pure torture.

Oh yes, and I am unable to swear, curse or crack racist jokes. It's really hard, when these words are like built into your dictionary like an adjective or a verb. Even last year, I think I said a swear word at least once for every single day. That's not something I'm proud mouth, I mean of.



But at least I won't be breaking the basic reason of fasting, that is, eating or drinking. Now that's something I'm proud of.










Now, away from fasting before I am tempted to buy a McDonald's meal and gorge it till the dawn breaks, if you're reading this, you might have noticed I changed my background. Yes, I finally listened to you guys saying the previous one was distracting, and like Obama, I gave change. The new one is kinda hip, somewhat. At least it's cool, in a sense, not like those everyday black emo/goth backgrounds you see on other people's blog, no offense.



In recent news, I caught the movie "Where Got Ghost?" with Luqman and Shawn in a futile attempt to bring back the local movie industry, (Yes, we are media students, it is our duty, you pirated bastards, oh wait, that's me.). We got the last row seats, and sadly, I got the one that was at the very end, and near to the door, so someone or something could have grabbed me and my friends wouldnt have noticed me missing until the end of the movie.

It was meant to be funny and comedic, though there were shocking scenes. But I kept looking at my popcorn during those scenes. Yes, I am a wuss, and that was my first time catching a horror (It has the tag horror, it's just not comedy, come on) on a big movie screen. I even screamed and jumped off my seat (3 - 5cms, I think) when a shocker scene came out.

But seriously, that scene was really unexpected. We were chatting among ourselves when the scene was about to happen, about how the movie resembled another one we saw earlier (which I won't tell, Spoiler alert.) when I turned my head around and saw a disfigured, greenish granny looking back at me, with the sudden increase of music volume. So yes, you know what I did next.



This is how I probably jumped, but in a less happy way.


However, half the movie patrons, too, screamed. But I think I was the only one who jumped. Thank God I was sitting at the furthest back, and my popcorn tightly sealed. I can't imagine watching pure horror movies if I couldnt even face a comedy/horror movie. And it was LOCAL. Daaaaaaaaamn.




But, comedy/horror was supposed to be more towards funny, right? I mean, look at those comedy/horror Malay films. Now that was what I was expecting, some stupid monsters lumbering around, riding in motorbikes or something rather than an old granny harassing her sons because she has nothing to do in the afterlife. If Jack Neo ever comes into Nanyang Polytechnic... well, you'll find out. I have a huge number of days to plan that event.








Oshit, I just realized I haven't even started on Intro To Media. Ima gonna fail the test if I keep slacking like this, noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. Then Chong's gonna go "I'm Not Impressed." as he hands me an F.

I'd better go get the notes from my classmates or I am seriously screwed. Lololololololololololol.

To the mooooooovies, P.S: Garena is a bitch.

So today, I went to the movies to catch GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra with my friends, because one of them has to go back to India for further studies and we haven't seen him for a long time, so, a movie trip sounded good as a farewell party.




From Left: Me, Alfie, Ziyaad, Varun
Just like Secondary 1. Tho Varun is much, much taller.



The movie was beyond epic. It was the definition of epic. Guns blasting, people flying, future modern high-tech weaponry decimating the hell out of tanks and soldiers, and not to mention a hot redhead and a busty evil baroness. It was like some gun crazed lunatic General's wild fantasy come to life.




It's nigger property, so too bad fanboys.


Though, the storyline was a bit shaky. I mean, *Spoiler Ahead, Stop Reading Unless You Want To Be Spoiled.*. The dude who went into the lab, saw videos of people getting mutated into god-knows-what and immediately wants to know and master everything about it? I mean, come on, everyone has his dark side, but the guy was a decent looking chap, he should know what is right and wrong. It's like Superman being evil after seeing a couple of bank robbers enjoying life.

But I can understand him being evil after scarred for life and becoming Dr I Like To Inject Faces or whatever his name is. You'd probably want all the power and revenge, blablabla, usual super villian stuff, but injecting and forcing your sister to obey commands seem a little overboard to me.


So, after the movie, I went home as quickly as I could, as I received word that my friends were playing Team Fortress 2 on Garena (Unfortunately, it was during the epic submarine battle scene. I was this close to throw my vibrating handphone across the cinema.) I got online as quick as I could, tried to host a game (Internet Woes) and told them my IP.

As they connected, guess what. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaag. Immediately it striked like that Japanese pretty-boy ninja dude in white taking out 3 to 4 soldiers in that Gi Joe show, lagging the hell out of my server, and forcing some of my friends to abandon ship (I dont blame you guys, I would have done the same).

Damn it Garena, you already lagged for Left 4 Dead, but Team Fortress 2? This is Madness!

Madness?

THIS IS GARENAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!













In the end, we played a fair 2v2, which Garena decided not to torture our existence for that time, thank God. But it'll be back, it always will. Look at tommorow, where we try to go for another session of Team Fortress 2, Garena will be waiting, like Cobra.

Speaking of Cobra, I just noticed, the movie was called GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra. But *Spoiler Alert, Spoiler Alert, Spoiler Alert!!!!* if it was called the Rise of Cobra, the movie ended with the insane brother-in-law and that metallic face dude (Destro, I think.) getting imprisoned after declaring that this was the start of Cobra's reign by the Joes. It's like saying a revolution is at hand and the leaders getting arrested afterwards.

Rise? I think not. Lolololololololololol.