Jetpacks Naow.

Going back to school has reminded me one thing; it reminds me on the pace people walk to school as if they’re on a minefield.

In other words, they walk TOO DAMN

SLOW.

If you could strap everyone with a turtle shell and paint them green, I swear it would look as if turtles came ashore for some mating season. It’s bad enough they walk as if they’re stuck in bullet time mode from the Matrix, but they find the annoying need to block people behind too.

What your mind visualizes during the frustration period.

Every time I arrive on the station, I have exactly 10 minutes to make it to school or else I can kiss my attendance goodbye, so you can see why I can’t join the others in Wonderland to find the Tin Man, and the fact that the security guard prevents me from going through the carpark is plain dumb, since I can save at least 5 minutes instead walking the long, “scenic” route.

Fortunately, I’ve learnt a few tricks to lessen the agony if you happen to find yourself stuck in said situation.

Yea, I wish too.

Firstly, tailgating:

As the name implies, find another person who seems to be in a rush. Usually this person would not notice he/she is being stalked and will attempt to clear a path through the horde. What you simply need to do, is to follow behind closely, so you’ll get a personal path-clearer free of charge. Results may vary of course, depending on how late the poor bastard is.

Trololololololo~

Secondly, phone talking:

Pretend to be on the phone, and begin speaking loudly and laughing. This works best against a group of friends walking in a straight obstructing line on the narrow path, since your laughs and loud words block their boring conversations, thus, they will make way for you without even needing to ask, since they would love nothing better but to return to their conversation on how he made the most funniest “Knock Knock” joke.

Just don’t overdo it.

Lastly, walk with friends:

The phrase “fight fire with fire” applies here. Arrange yourself and your friends in a way where you are walking down in a line which dominates the path. Walk at your desired pace, and be rowdy as you can. What this would do is to clear the path in front of you as startled people in front would move out of the way, and at the same time, you get to play bully by blocking people behind your path.

Nuff said.

I guess, however, nothing changes the fact that the horde is still there, ever present to hinder your dash for punctuality. It’s easy to say “wake up earlier, and get the hell out of your house earlier”, but to do it is another story.